lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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