There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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