ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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