i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
