i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
