i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
