It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
