There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
