Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm bleeding and have questions
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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