i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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