NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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