i jhust puked up my retainher.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She has the best kind of daddy issues
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
