can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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