This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
