Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
