At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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