Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
