Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
