she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
