i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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