Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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