Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
