this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
they call him Oral-B. enough said
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
