K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
