how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i think i have herpe
just one?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
