My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
