Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
