Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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