never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
