Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
