He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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