C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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