Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
