HIV tests are more positive than that guy
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
