Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
