If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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