Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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