Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
