yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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