dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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