After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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