Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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