You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
