so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
