He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
