All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
