Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
