erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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