Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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