STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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